Revelation

I went back to the Dior in Isetan a couple of days ago and after a lot (and i mean A LOT) of rethinking i decided to let the Granville go. Such a liberating feeling to put a bag back on the shelf and go:

"Bag, I release you!"

Some other things that needed wise decision making were done too. Baby steps, i say. Small things that may seem trivial to some, but took me months of heartbreak to realize and to finally act upon. There are times when i think back and see what an idiot i've been all this time because of all the stupid things i've done... But i guess there are no regrets. My experiences have helped me learn (albeit the hard way) that i want a better life for myself and that i deserve better people to share it with.

Most importantly, I've also learnt that in order to earn respect from other people i must first show respect to myself, and little things i've changed here and there will hopefully help me achieve that.

I really hope things turn out for the better from here on out. We'll just have to wait and see.

Lust!

But is it really worth 3 months pay??

Yes >_<

Central Business District

I just got home from a last minute, very impromptu getaway to Melbourne. I swear i love it there, definitely one of my favorite cities to visit. Feels just like KL but with better weather and better shops :) I love that i'm familiar enough with the place to just aimlessly walk about and do my own thing. Weather was good - sunny and windy with absolutely no rain (Hah to you mr weather forecast man!) Met up with a lot of old friends and also made some new ones hihihi.. I think i'm smitten, but i'm pretty sure it's just lust. A little bit of buzz leftover from the club coupled together with a ridiculously breathtaking view of the city night lights from a rooftop might confuse a girl you know. We'll see if there is any substance or follow up; can't dwell on it too much because i might just jinx the whole thing >_<

In other news, maxis has yet again decided to bar my line. No warning text or anything! This is the 2nd time it has happened and it's seriously annoying. And the best part is, i can't increase my credit limit till at least 6 months using post-paid services. That's just a load of bull.

And tomorrow, WORK! Ward 13 here i come...

Reboot

Wow it feels so weird to be blogging again. Initially logged into xanga to pick up where i left of, then saw how much a span of one year (!) has done to me. Needed to start fresh - if that's even possible.

If i were to take a step back and view my life right now, i think i'm doing alright. Made through my degree with no hiccups, secured a job (albeit a little too early for comfort but hey i'm not complaining), and so far making it through the first 6 months of financial independence alive. I use the term financial independence loosely - i still am living under mama's roof and my makan/minum/tidur (and the occasional credit card statement :P) are being taken care of them fully, but at least now i know i can afford to buy that nice top from Zara or go out for a night about town without having to burden them any more than i already am.

Which brings me to - too many crazy nights out. I love it but the nature of my job demands physical as well as mental alertness around the clock (sometimes 36hours non stop) because we're dealing with human lives, to quote my specialist this one time we screwed up

"AWAK INGAT KITA KAT WARD NI JAGA KAMBING KE?"

s o u r c e

And if the burden of the job is not enough to make you go crazy, there's the issue of the non-existent love life :) LOVE is very vague to me right now. I love my family and friends to death, but i just cannot picture myself being IN love with anyone. My two ex boyfriends were perfect examples of how i was never able to commit myself fully and backing out of both when i did was the best thing i could have done to avoid being selfish. Who knew love could be so complicated? Mama and aunty only talk about men now when we have our daily chats. What's the update with A, did B call, when are you going to go out with C again, why don't you give D a chance? The pinnacle of it all was when mama tried to set me up with one of my newly single cousins at a "family brunch" which involved ONLY his family and mine. Dude.....

But i guess i'm doing alright. Hey i could have it worse, right?

I'm taking life one day at a time, tackling work and love as best as i humanly can. In the mean time, i turn to leather for affection.

Preferably lambskin.

xx