RAWR!

Nak kata tengah ovulating, i haven't reached that stage in the cycle yet.. But hot damn am i annoyed at everyone and everything today! The slightest thing made me roll my eyes and i'm emotional as shit! This is not a good feeling to have.

One, always at the top of my rant list, is work. Not particularly bad, but me and a colleague had a good long talk over lunch about how the food vendors in our neighbouring Kampung Baru were making rm40,000 earnings monthly NETT and driving BMWs, while here we were earning peanuts sitting in the stinky cafe fearing for our lives if we've had a too long lunch break. Pfft! Granted, i have been taking work a bit better than my counterparts - i've had friends quit and take unpaid leaves and there have been rumours about housemen going into clinical depression (gasp) and quite all together. Pelan-pelan kayuh, as always. And if ever my friend decides to open that restaurant in kampung baru, i'm game to be the silent partner ;)

Two; I'm FAT! And no this is not one of those oh i'm just putting myself down to fish for compliments from you ploy - i say im fat because i actuall do feel fat! It's so discouraging to look in the mirror or take a picture and not like what you see because deep down i know i can look better. I'm just too tired to exercise and i can't be bothered to diet. FML!

Three; LOVE. Garhhh i hate to be harping on it but it has become such a big compartment of my daily chats with mama and aunty. At first i thought it was cool that my family is so open about stuff like that but now it's like woahhhhh horsey back up! They're like why haven't you called A, did B text you today, did you bump into C at work, why haven't i heard about D in so long arghhh maybe it's just today but seriously, SERIOUSLY! I need space.

And i need to find love.

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Soulmate, Natasha Bedingfield

Tired tired tired of being single. The novelty has worn off. But at the same time, i just can't think of anyone i want to hold out for right now. That becomes somewhat of a problem now, doesn't it?

Anyways, i'm already planning for my birthday in August. Nampak sangat jobless. I'd rather not read up on journals for the 5-year prognosis for lung papillary adenocarcinoma for my 70 year old patient, and then to decide whether or not it's worth it to put in a rm30,000 stent to repair his saccular aneurysm. /yawn

Tanya la orang gerai kampung baru, they can help fund the whole thing with their 1-mth salary :)

This song has been in my head the whole morning! Is it a sign? ;)

This past week has been a good week at work. That time off in Melbourne really made a difference in my performance at work i think. This new ward was supposed to be the one every houseman dreads to go to, but so far i've found it quite enjoyable and, dare i say it, BETTER than the previous? Talking about ward 11, i bumped into my former consultant today and my my my i forgot how damn fine he was! The 5-figure monthly income aside, he is just one hot piece of surgical ass! Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh forbidden love ;)

Otherwise, the social life has definitely piped down a few notches. I'm going out less nights a week and even when i'm out i'm tired and zoned out and having less fun as compared to before. Age, is that you catching up with me?

That said i'm still not ready to give it up all together, at least not yet. Baby steps..

Need to get ready to go out later. It is, after all, a Friday night. The eternal question beckons - what to wear?